Has it really been a whole year? Ay ay ay. Been working on the site, new design, mental commitment… hasn’t quite translated into sustained activity. I tell myself I’m getting there (does that count?) and console myself with awareness that this is connected to my real work, my writing. And try not to make myself miserable with thinking about how much the real world interferes with that work.
But it does. And what a rollercoaster year it’s been. Wild and crazy swings, with my two forays to México of 2+ weeks each acting as the catalyst for some profound self-examination about what’s really important in my life. Turns out, less and less in this country… changes on the horizon, though not just yet.
Meanwhile, the day job intrudes more and more – the last couple of months, the time behind the desk runs 9 to 12 hours a day. No brain left for writing when I get home; I can barely fulfill the caretaking responsibilities. With great reluctance, and equally great doses of practicality, I dropped my Spanish classes until the summer… ever day, I feel my hard-won knowledge backsliding. Such a grown-up decision! (What bollocks!)
I’m tired, tired of feeling negative, tired of hearing myself make excuses. Time to look forward… and move ahead.