She’s back… with some whine
Has it really been a whole year? Ay ay ay. Been working on the site, new design, mental commitment… hasn’t quite translated into sustained activity. I tell myself I’m getting there (does that count?) and console myself with awareness that this is connected to my real work, my writing. And try not to make myself miserable with thinking about how much the real world interferes with that work.
But it does. And what a rollercoaster year it’s been. Wild and crazy swings, with my two forays to México of 2+ weeks each acting as the catalyst for some profound self-examination about what’s really important in my life. Turns out, less and less in this country… changes on the horizon, though not just yet.
Meanwhile, the day job intrudes more and more – the last couple of months, the time behind the desk runs 9 to 12 hours a day. No brain left for writing when I get home; I can barely fulfill the caretaking responsibilities. With great reluctance, and equally great doses of practicality, I dropped my Spanish classes until the summer… ever day, I feel my hard-won knowledge backsliding. Such a grown-up decision! (What bollocks!)
I’m tired, tired of feeling negative, tired of hearing myself make excuses. Time to look forward… and move ahead.
4 comments
ruthanne - April 27, 2011 12:46 am
Welcome back!
You’ve got the right attitude. Look forward, move ahead – and BELIEVE, know you can make it through!
Peggy Strack - February 23, 2012 6:37 am
It’s hard when reality prevents you from doing what you love. Try reading Excuses Be Gone by Wayne Dyer (in your spare time:0). I had a novel idea spinning in my head for over a year. I love to write creatively, but never ventured to far with it because of other obligations (e.g., family, work). After I read this book, I started my novel. It is now the hands of a professional editor, will be published some time this summer and I am 1/3 of the way through my second novel. My journey to this point warrents a blog of its own so I won’t go into it. In a nutshell, I wrote that novel as a single parent (of college aged boys) who worked two jobs, was in the midst of selling my house and planning my second wedding. Still, I made time to write 500 words at least five times a week. In the end, my goals and dream has been realized. All the best to you.
martha - February 23, 2012 7:35 pm
Thanks Peggy – you’re an inspiration! There’s an old saying floating around that if you want to find a way to do something, you will; and if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. I’m struggling with the balancing act, but there’s a seismic shift going on this last month or so. I’ve got a collection of topics to blog about, a new website I’m working on, and both of them leading to the on-again/off-again book. We’ll get there. Congrats on your writing achievements!
Josh Hanagarne - March 27, 2012 2:34 pm
Welcome back, Ali!
Whining has its place, it just can’t be what you spend most of your time doing or you’ll never make any progress. Sounds like you’re taking the right steps for you.